Secret 5 - How to make sure you find a satisfactory solution?

Black BELT negotiators are solution finder and problem solver. It makes sense, right!

But we argue instead of finding a solution, we don't how to find the other party's interest so how could we find a match?

Our studies show that you will be twice as likely to find a shared solution if you understand the other party's interest and make them feel understood.

So how do you make someone felt understood? What is the secret behind identify someone's interest?

Empathic Reformulation

Reformulate based on your observations to translate the other person's words into needs or interests. The objective is for you to get, "Exactly!", ", "That's right".


Whether it is to clarify what is happening in itself or to communicate with others, the NVC method can be summarized as a four-step process:

  • Observation: Describe the situation in terms of shareable observation,

  • Feeling and attitudes: express the feelings and attitudes aroused in this situation,

  • Need: Clarify the need(s),

  • Request: make a request that meets the following criteria: feasible, concrete, precise, and positively formulated. If possible, let the action be viable in the present moment. The fact that the request is accompanied by a statement of requirements makes it negotiable.

The Formula can be

"You [feeling] when [observation] because You need [Need interest]"


  1. Connection. To promote attention and connection with others.
  2. Active-Listening. To focus on needs, so it allows us to get out of positions by highlighting needs.
  3. Reformulation. To allow you to translate your interlocutor's comments by focusing on feelings and needs.
  4. Get confirmation. With an "Exactly!", "That's right!"


  1. Rosenberg, Marshall B. Nonviolent Communication : A language of life. 3rd edition. 2015

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